Visit the Mouse and Like-Button
online pub
for a frothing pint of ale
and a steak and kidney pie
with a wall of reinforced glass
between you and the other patrons
for that authentic
Internet conversation feel.
When someone asks you
tricky questions like
“So why is it that only white people can commit racism?”,
you can just carry on drinking
in a relaxing environment of silence,
or write “shut up u stoopid prik u is talkin shit”
on a chalkboard,
bravely from behind your
wall of protective reinforced glass.
Your friends have the option
of adding “lol”
or a thumbs-up sign
in a range of coloured chalks.
For those particularly inconvenient
real-world intellectual challenges, like
“Haven’t the Arabs stolen all of North Africa from black people though?”
special buttons are provided
to eject your conversation partner
through a trap door
and out of your sight forever.
Come and have a drink
in the cosy surroundings
of the Mouse and Like-Button
online pub,
and feel liberated
from the drudgery of social skills
and of having to defend
your ill-thought-out pseudo-leftist bollocks opinions.
