The upheavals of the Middle English period (1100 – 1500) have left the English language, in terms of spelling at least, in a bamboozling chaotic mess that is extremely frustrating for learners of the language.
In terms of vocabulary and pronunciation, the English language had pretty much settled down by the end of the Early Modern period, and by 1700 the “trap-bath” split had occurred in London. When Samuel Johnson published the first English dictionary in 1755, he missed a golden opportunity, in my opinion, to radically standardise English spelling.
Here we are in the 21st century, with English held aloft as the only viable world language. But if English is to be spoken by large swathes of humanity all over the world, then it ought to be spoken well, and for that, we need the spelling of the language to be drastically simplified, so that words are spelt the way they are actually pronounced, as they are in other languages such as German and Spanish.
My suggestion is as follows:
Consonants
b, d, f, g, h, k, l, m, n, p, r, s, t, v, w, y and z would retain their usual pronunciation. They would also be used in place of current irregularities, for example ‘knot’ would begin with n, ‘physical’ with f, and so on.
The consonants left over are c, j, q and x. These would, respectively, represent the sh of ‘ship’, the s of ‘vision’, the th of ‘thing’ and the th of ‘mother’.
The affricate ch of ‘cheek’ would be represented by tc, and the j of ‘jump’ by dj. The ng of ‘sing’ would be ń.
Vowels
The e, i and o of ‘bed’, ‘fish’ and ‘long’ would stay the same.
The a would represent the unstressed schwa of ‘caress’ and u the vowel of ‘good’.
The vowel sound of ‘sheep’ would be ie.
‘born’: oo
‘turn’: aa
‘far’: ā
‘cat’: ē
‘shoot’: ō
‘cup’: ū
‘here’: ia
‘wait’: ei
‘cure’: ua
‘boy’: oi
‘show’: au
‘hair’: ea
‘time’: āi
‘brown’: ēu
The r of words such as ‘barn’ would remain, in order to accommodate speakers with rhotic accents, such as American, Irish and Scottish. In all other respects though, the patterns of Standard London English would be followed.
Plurals would keep their s-ending, whereas possessives would end with z. Third-person verbs in the present tense would also end in z. Regular past tense verbs would all end in d.
Homophones
Confusion between homophones could be avoided by using double letters. For example:
male: MEIL
mail: MEILL
fair: FEAR
fare: FFEAR
sun: SŪN
son: SŪNN
Emphasis
Spelling reform could make emphasis with ‘can’ and ‘have’ visible in writing, without having to resort to italics, underlining or capital letters.
I can speak English (no emphasis):
ĀI KAN SPIEK IŃGLIC
I can speak English (with emphasis):
ĀI KĒN SPIEK IŃGLIC
We have been there (no emphasis):
WIE HAV BIEN XEAR
We have been there (with emphasis):
WIE HĒV BIEN XEAR
Examples
chocolate: TCOKLAT
John’s cats: DJON’Z KĒTS
Scott’s birds: SKOT’Z BAARDS
television: TELAVIJAN
thwarting: QWOORTIŃ
therefore: XEARFOOR
psychotherapist: SĀIKOQERAPIST
physiology: FIZIEOLADJIE
overarching: AUVARĀRTCIŃ
European: YUARAPIEAN
showdown: CAUDĒUN
synchronicity: SIŃKRANISATIE
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog:
XA KWIK BRĒUN FOKS DJŪMPZ AUVAR XA LEIZIE DOG
The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold:
XIE ASIRIEAN KEIM DĒUN LĀIK XA WULF ON XA FAULD
A eunuch irons his dearest knickers on a turquoise yacht:
A YŌNAK ĀIARNZ HIZ DIARIST NIKARS ON A TAARKWOIZ YOT
YŌ KAN PLĒU QRŌ A TROF XAU, WIX TŪF QŪRA QOOT
The Lord’s Prayer:
Ēuar Fāxar, hō iz in Hevan,
hēlaud bie yoor neim.
Yoor kińdam kūm.
Yoor will bie dūn,
on Aarq ēz it iz in Hevan.
Giv ūs tadei ēuar deilie bredd
and fargiv ūs ēuar sins
az wie fargiv xauz hō sin agenst ūs.
And lied ūs not intō tempteican
būt dalivar ūs from ieval.
Far yoorz iz xa kińdam,
xa pēuar and xa gloorie,
nēu and farevar. Āmen.
Sermon on the Mount:
Blesd ār xa poor in spirit, far xearz iz xa kińdam av Hevan.
Blesd ār xauz hō moorn, far xei wil bie kūmfartid.
Blesd ār xa miek, far xei wil inherit xie aarq.
Blesd ār xauz hō hūńgar and qaarst far rāitcasnis, far xei wil bie sētisfāid.
Blesd ār xa maarsiful, far xei wil bie caun maarsie.
Blesd ār xa pyuar in hārt, far xei wil sie God.
Blesd ār xauz hō ār paarsikyōtid bikoz av rāitcasnis, far xearz iz xa kińdam
av Hevan.
Blesd ār yō wen piepal insūlt yō, paarsikyōt yō and foolslie sei ool kāinds av ieval agenst yō bikoz av mie.
Ridjois and bie eksiedińlie glēd, bikoz yoor riwoord in Hevan iz greit, far piepal lāikwāiz paarsikyōtid xa proffits hō waar bifoor yō.
All the World’s a Stage:
Ool xa waarld’z a steidj,
and ool xa men and wimin miarlie ēktars.
Xei hēv xear eksits and xear entransis,
and wūn mēn in hiz tāim pleiz menie pārts,
hiz ēkts bieiń sevan eidjis. At faarst xie infant,
wimpariń and pyōkiń in xa naars’z ārms.
And xen xa wāiniń skōlboi, wix hiz sētcal
and cāiniń moorniń feis, kriepiń lāik sneil
ūnwilińlie tō skōl. And xen xa lūvar,
sāiyiń lāik faarnis, wix a wauful bēlad
meid tō hiz mistris’z āibrēu. Xen a sauldjar,
ful av streindj auxs, and biardid lāik xa lepard,
djelas in onar, sūdan and kwik in kworal,
siekiń xa būbal repyōteican
ievan in xa kēnan’z mēuq. And xen xa djūdj,
in fear rēund belie lāind wix gud keipon,
wix saviar āis and biard av foormal kūt,
ful av wāiz seiyińs and modan ēnakdauts,
and sau hie pleiz hiz pārt. Xa siksq eidj ciftz
intō xa lien and slipard auld dūfar,
wix spektakals on nauz and pēutc on sāid,
hiz yōqful hauz, wel seivd, a waarld tō wāid
far hiz crūńk cēńk, and hiz big mēnlie vois
taarniń agen tawoordz tcāildic trebal, pāips
and wisals in hiz sēund. Lāst sien av ool,
xat endz xis streindj iventful histarie,
iz sekand tcāildicnis and miar ablivian,
wixēut tieq, wixēut āis, wixēut teist, wixēut evrieqiń.
Hamlet:
Tō bie oor not tō bie, xēt iz xa kwestcan.
Wexar it’z naublar in xa māind tō sūfar
xa slińs and ēraus av ēutreidjas foortcōn,
oor tō teik ārms agenst a ssie av trūbals
and bāi apauziń, end xam. Tō dāi, tō sliep,
nau moor; and bāi a sliep tō sei wie end
xa hārteik and xa qēuzand nētcaral coks
xat flec iz ear tō. It’z a konsyōmeican
divēutlie tō bie wicd. Tō dāi – tō sliep.
Tō sliep – parhēps tō driem: yes, xear’z xa rūb!
Far in xat sliep av deq wot driems mei kūm
wen wie hav cūfald of xis moortal koil
mūst giv ūs pooz.
MacBeth:
Tamūrau and tamūrau and tamūrau,
xis petie peis krieps in fram dei tō dei,
tō xa lāst silabal av rikoordid tāim,
and ool auar yestardeis hēv lāitid fōls
xa wei tō dūstie deq. Aut, aut, brief kēndal!
Lāif’z djūst a wookiń cēdau, a poor ēktar
xat strūtz and fretz hiz auarr apon xa steidj
and xen iz haard nau moor. It iz a teil
tauld bāi an idieat, ful av sēund and fyuarie,
signifāiyiń nūqiń.
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It has been suggested to me that the English-speaking peoples would never accept accents over their letters.
In which case, an alternative system would be this:
‘sheep’: ie
‘born’: oo
‘turn’: aa
‘far’: ah
‘cat’: ae
‘shoot’: uu
‘cup’: ou
‘here’: ia
‘wait’: ei
‘cure’: ua
‘boy’: oi
‘show’: au
‘hair’: ea
‘time’: ai
‘brown’: eu
‘singer’: singar
‘finger’: finggar
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog:
XA KWIK BREUN FOKS DJOUMPZ AUVAR XA LEIZIE DOG
The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold:
XIE ASIRIEAN KEIM DEUN LAIK XA WULF ON XA FAULD
A eunuch irons his dearest knickers on a turquoise yacht:
A YUUNAK AIARNZ HIZ DIARIST NIKARS ON A TAARKWOIZ YOT
You can plough through a trough though, with tough thorough thought:
YUU KAN PLEU QRUU A TROF XAU, WIX TOUF QOURA QOOT
The Lord’s Prayer:
Euar Fahxar, huu iz in Hevan,
haelaud bie yoor neim.
Yoor kingdam koum.
Yoor will bie doun,
on Aarq aez it iz in Hevan.
Giv ous tadei euar deilie bredd
and fargiv ous euar sins
az wie fargiv xauz huu sin agenst ous.
And lied ous not intuu tempteican
bout dalivar ous from ieval.
Far yoorz iz xa kingdam,
xa peuar and xa gloorie,
neu and farevar. Ahmen.
Sermon on the Mount:
Blesd ahr xa poor in spirit, far xearz iz xa kingdam av Hevan.
Blesd ahr xauz huu moorn, far xei wil bie koumfartid.
Blesd ahr xa miek, far xei wil inherit xie aarq.
Blesd ahr xauz huu hounggar and qaarst far raitcasnis, far xei wil bie saetisfaid.
Blesd ahr xa maarsiful, far xei wil bie caun maarsie.
Blesd ahr xa pyuar in hahrt, far xei wil sie God.
Blesd ahr xauz huu ahr paarsikyuutid bikoz av raitcasnis, far xearz iz xa kingdam av Hevan.
Blesd ahr yuu wen piepal insoult yuu, paarsikyuut yuu and foolslie sei ool kainds av ieval agenst yuu bikoz av mie.
Ridjois and bie eksiedinglie glaed, bikoz yoor riwoord in Hevan iz greit, far piepal laikwaiz paarsikyuutid xa proffits huu waar bifoor yuu.
All the World’s a Stage:
Ool xa waarld’z a steidj,
and ool xa men and wimin miarlie aektars.
Xei haev xear eksits and xear entransis,
and woun maen in hiz taim pleiz menie pahrts,
hiz aekts bieing sevan eidjis. At faarst xie infant,
wimparing and pyuuking in xa naars’z ahrms.
And xen xa waining skuulboi, wix hiz saetcal
and caining moorning feis, krieping laik sneil
ounwilinglie tuu skuul. And xen xa louvar,
saiying laik faarnis, wix a wauful baelad
meid tuu hiz mistris’z aibreu. Xen a sauldjar,
ful av streindj auxs, and biardid laik xa lepard,
djelas in onar, soudan and kwik in kworal,
sieking xa boubal repyuuteican
ievan in xa kaenan’z meuq. And xen xa djoudj,
in fear reund belie laind wix gud keipon,
wix saviar ais and biard av foormal kout,
ful av waiz seiyings and modan aenakdauts,
and sau hie pleiz hiz pahrt. Xa siksq eidj ciftz
intuu xa lien and slipard auld doufar,
wix spektakals on nauz and peutc on said,
hiz yuuqful hauz, wel seivd, a waarld tuu waid
far hiz croungk caengk, and hiz big maenlie vois
taarning agen tawoordz tcaildic trebal, paips
and wisals in hiz seund. Lahst sien av ool,
xat endz xis streindj iventful histarie,
iz sekand tcaildicnis and miar ablivian,
wixeut tieq, wixeut ais, wixeut teist, wixeut evrieqing.
Hamlet:
Tuu bie oor not tuu bie, xaet iz xa kwestcan.
Wexar it’z naublar in xa maind tuu soufar
xa slings and aeraus av eutreidjas foortcuun,
oor tuu teik ahrms agenst a ssie av troubals
and bai apauzing, end xam. Tuu dai, tuu sliep,
nau moor; and bai a sliep tuu sei wie end
xa hahrteik and xa qeuzand naetcaral coks
xat flec iz ear tuu. It’z a konsyuumeican
diveutlie tuu bie wicd. Tuu dai – tuu sliep.
Tuu sliep – parhaeps tuu driem: yes, xear’z xa roub!
Far in xaet sliep av deq wot driems mei koum
wen wie hav coufald of xis moortal koil
moust giv ous pooz.
MacBeth:
Tamourau and tamourau and tamourau,
xis petie peis krieps in fram dei tuu dei,
tuu xa lahst silabal av rikoordid taim,
and ool auar yestardeis haev laitid fuuls
xa wei tuu doustie deq. Aut, aut, brief kaendal!
Laif’z djoust a wooking caedau, a poor aektar
xat stroutz and fretz hiz auarr apon xa steidj
and xen iz haard nau moor. It iz a teil
tauld bai an idieat, ful av seund and fyuarie,
signifaiying nouqing.
