Aries the Sheep-Farmer.
You’ve had a tough time lately
making ends meet,
but all your money worries will soon be over!
A socialist windfall is on the way
as the downtrodden masses rise up
when the moon is in the house of Capricorn.
Taurus the Bullet-Maker.
Problems at work have been troubling you recently.
You and authority don’t mix!
Hold on tight until the twenty-third, when you’ll
seize control of the means of production
and smash the chains of worldwide imperialism that enslave humanity
as Mars reaches the cusp of Aquarius.
Gemini the Bricklayer.
Your love-life has been somewhat
on the back burner of late, comrade.
But don’t worry. On the fifteenth,
your libido will be shaken awake
as the glorious proletarian revolution sweeps capitalism
and all that lacklustre sex
into the dustbin of history.
Cancer the Factory-Owner.
Your days of sucking the blood of the workers
are well and truly numbered,
you filthy reactionary bourgeois leech.
Leo the Coal-Miner.
Over the coming months you’re going to
mine staggering amounts of coal,
or a trip to a labour camp
will lie in store for you!
